A milestone is one of a series of numbered markers placed along at intervals …
April 14, 2011
Mark and I have started to see each other almost on schedule, usually once during the week (although maybe twice if I managed to swipe him some free food from my office), and then once on the weekends. We spend most of our work days on gchat with each other, and although we don’t have the steady 8-hour-long chats that I have with Viv, I keep his box open and he has said that he does the same with mine. There is usually a text or 3 a night as well, depending on the day.
OH! and the big thing. Just about the last week in February, we started sleeping together. Our goodbye make-outs had gotten longer and longer, and February is not a warm time of year in New England to stand on the driveway or porch and make out all night. One day he suggested that we put some effort into making out inside a little more, and so one night instead of going out we decided to start in and order takeout. He came over to my place and we ordered Thai and watched Inception, and he spent the night.
YOU GUYS, IT WAS AMAZING. This boy has more stamina than any other guy I’ve ever been with. He claims it’s because he’s older, but I think it’s just because he’s that much better at sex than my partners of the past have been.
However, my mind is a big giant jerk and as soon as he left on Sunday morning I was suddenly hit with the thought, “OMG, should I tell Paul?”
As my relationship with Mark has begun to grow. my textual relationship with Paul has faded. We were still texting casually, but I stopped the minuscule flirting I had been using in the past. I hadn’t mentioned that I was seeing anyone, but I always told myself that if I wanted to sleep with anyone, I would disclose the guy’s existence to Paul. In the meantime, I made a point not to text Paul when I was with Mark, and so my responses had gotten shorter and very delayed. I started to tell myself that Paul probably knows that something was going on, and so I just disclosed less and less. And so the texted slowed even more. I made a major break through in early March, which I shared with my book club the day after it happened. I heard my phone beep with a text, and hoped it would be Mark. When it was Paul, I was disappointed. I didn’t even read the message, I just put the phone back down and went on with my day.
It’s weird, I always thought that Paul was the one person I was SUPPOSED to be with, but I don’t know why. He never understood my sense of humor, for one thing. We had an awful time communicating because we practically spoke two different languages, and we still have almost nothing in common. Looking back I know that all these reasons are why I broke up with him in the first place all that time ago. I knew that someone more ideal for me had to be out there. But we were apart for almost a year, and I didn’t find anyone remotely close. I think I had just started to resign myself to the fact that he was the one I was suppose to be with, because that’s how life was. Being at camp, I was reminded that we were part of the same little group in school, and always ended up together, even if it seemed that it was by default. I was getting older, and was running out of time to find someone else. Then I think I got really depressed because I had broken up with my backup, and it turned out that he WAS NO LONGER A RELIABLE BACK UP.
Our last text exchange was on March 18th. He texted on a Friday while I was out with Mark, and I didn’t respond. Saturday came and I wasn’t out with Mark, and I still didn’t respond.
